......wonder what's that whole sushi menu is about huh??haha......it just suddenly came to my mind one fine day when i was having lunch with my beloved CY people......you know......choosing a college is kinda like deciding what to order in a restaurant that you're not familiar with......especially when it's your first time to order......if that was your first time......surely you will automatically look/ask for the menu......with that 100++ of choices in that menu......you need to spend time to look and decide what you wanna have for that breakfast/lunch/dinner......and if the menu didn't have a sign mark chef's pick or whatever.....you will not know what's the best in that restaurant right??and sometimes......too many choices = too complicated......cause you don't know what to choose......it's the same thing when it comes to choosing a college/university......when there's too many choices......you need to take some time to think and look at the prospectus the college's/university's website......the surroundings......the faculties......the subjects they offer......and so so so so much more......but just before you choose your college/university......you'll need to think what subjects to take when you're there......and when you think of what to take when you're in college/university......you have to think of so so so so many thing else well......why you wanna take that subject??what makes you wanna take that subject and not the other one??
decisions,decisions,decisions......
when i was in kindergarten,i always wanna go to primary school....and when i'm in primary school... ...i just can't wait to go to secondary school mostly is because the teachers in primary school is just so fierce and sometimes they think that they are always right and you have to follow every word they say... ...and there's also the stress studying too......so,when i'm finally in secondary school......i just wanna break out to college and university......that's because i don't wanna face the stress,problems etc. and as you get older......you want......FREEDOM......cause you always think that you're old enough to take care of yourself......but the real truth is... ...you are NOT......and so... ...here i am......3 months it's going to and end......i'd spend too much time of basically doing nothing......sit in front of the computer till early morning cause i kept on telling myself i don't have school and i have nothing to do......actually,i have PLENTY OF THEM WAITING FOR ME......i'm just......LAZY
but......i seriously don't think i wasted any time......okay maybe some time......but not ALL the time......i don't know why and how......but the God of Gods showed me different things in life every day......like seriously every single day!!!!!!even some of the movies i watched......either the plot of the movie or the soundtracks of the movie......even the values behind the movie......i downloaded the songs which spoke to me the first time i listened to them......and as the days gone by......i don't know whether it's coincidence......hmm.....i think it's God......when i need courage to face the monster...... i have a song to tell me that i'm gonna do just fine......when i think my life is so so so so miserable and hard and complicated and i'll never gonna enjoy/love my life......i have a song saying that ' life is beautiful , but it's complicated , we don't need to understand , there are miracles...... '
i had the time of my life in Singapore with my buddies......He told and showed me something when i was there which opened my eyes......i kinda felt myself the first time when i'm actually mature enough to know what does growing up or even the word mature means when i'm watching the waves hushing the shore early in the morning and at night when i'm in Pangkor with my besties... ...when i was a little naive and innocent girl......i wanna grow up FAST......just a second......now that i can say i'm going to the next stage......i don't wanna grow up......i wish i was still in kindergarten......i wish i can start all over again......from the day God gave my parents ME......learn how to walk......how to talk......how to read......how to write......but i can't......and it's not gonna happen......i will be older day by day... ...i guess the main reason i don't wanna grow is because i don't wanna face troubles,problems,hardships,waves,thunder storm,rain......i want it to be sunny all the time,i want a peace life with no troubles and stuffs like that......
most of my friends already know what they wanna do,registered in that college this college and preparing to have a time of their lives......some hove even started it in January......me?i'm still waiting for God's answer each day in my life......waiting and praying......it's not that i don't know what i wanna take......there's just always this road block......i'll think that what if my future is not the way i always wanted it??what if i don't get what i want??i think i think too much most of the time......worry too much......i should have back the childlike faith......that God is always there even though we can't see or feel Him.....even now while i'm writing this.....He's watching and know what word i'm going type......Philippians 4:6
it's still kinda blur when i imagine my future right now......i know i want to chase after my dreams.....continue on the things that i'm so passionate about it's kinda like my life to me......make good use of the gifts that my God had gave me before i was even in my mum's womb......
i can't believe i'm even writing this here......BUT I WANT STRAIGHT A'S FOR MY ACTUAL SPM RESULTS......LIKE REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY BADLY......who don't want straight A's??everyone asked me how many A's i expect myself to get......i just say i don't know......cause i'm afraid that what if after telling them this......when i don't get it how would it feels......i've been praying for this for quite some times now......and 3 more days till the SPM result slip will be in my hands......i'd imagine myself holding that piece of paper.....shouting......THANK YOU JESUS cause i got what i want......God says:Whatever i promised you......I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU......BELIEVE.....AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE......
i don't know what's gonna happen on the 23rd.....but i will surely hold on to what God had said in the bible about this......keep my faith.....keep holding and hanging on
=)
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