Saturday, April 16, 2011

a word from Viann Siew

Jeremiah 15:19 - Where is God in Our Brokenness?  Jeremiah 15:19 (NLT)  The LORD replied, "If you return to me, I  will restore you so you can continue to serve me. If you speak words  that are worthy, you will be my spokesman. You are to influence them;  do not let them influence you!    Jeremiah 15:19 (CWR)  The Lord answered, "If you stop your  complaining, I will restore your courage.  If you say things worth saying  instead of feeling sorry for yourself, then you'll continue to be my  messenger and speak for me.  The people need to change and turn to you.   Don't feel so sorry for them that you change and end up being like  them.     Someone once said, "A soul is converted in a moment of time,  but to become a saint takes a lifetime." Conversion happens  instantly; maturity takes many years. To bring us to maturity, God has to  break us over and over again.    So often I see Christians struggling to get to what they  perceive as the top. They gather and accumulate and arrange and amass--all  the while forging their long list of accomplishments, perhaps with  the hope that they will one day be able to hand their resume to God  and say, "See what I've done for You?"    God's work through brokenness calls us not to accumulate, but  to discard. He calls us to get rid of this, toss that, purge  ourselves of this trait and that habit, repent of that desire and that  goal, and finally strip ourselves of all self until we can truly say,  "All that I am and all that I have is God's. He is in me and I am in  Him, and that's all that matters."    What is God stripping away from your life? What comes to mind  when you think of being broken? What have you put between you and  total surrender to God? What do you trust more than you trust God?  What do you love more than you love God?    God will break you, change you, and cause you to grow until  you reach spiritual maturity. No matter how long it takes or how  difficult the process may be, God will continue to break you and bring you  to a place of wholeness and spiritual maturity so that he might use  you as his tool in bringing still others to wholeness and spiritual  maturity.    We can't reach spiritual maturity without suffering and pain,  and we can't engage in ministry without being willing to endure even  more suffering and pain. The joy set before us, however, is the joy  of knowing that God is with us, working in us and through us, and  that God is pleased with us.    Friend, there's no greater joy than that.   Maybe you are facing a time of brokenness and it feels as  though the emotional pain is more than you can bear. Or perhaps you are  dealing with a series of disappointments. Instead of becoming fearful--a  frequent ploy of Satan to pull you away from God--ask the Lord to reveal  what He is up to in your life.    God did not remove the "thorn" from the apostle Paul's life,  yet He did help him to understand why He allowed the trial to  persist. The Holy Spirit revealed an element of pride in Paul's life; the  "thorn" was given to humble him and cause him to rely only on Christ (2  Cor. 12:1-11).    In visiting God's altar of brokenness, you will find a  spiritual depth not present before the trial began. Peter writes:  "Beloved, do not think it strange concerning the fiery trial which is to  try you, as though some strange thing happened to you; but rejoice  to the extent that you partake of Christ's sufferings, that when  His glory is revealed, you may also be glad with exceeding joy" (1  Pet. 4:12, 13).    Charles Spurgeon wrote: "God knows that soldiers are only to  be made in battle; they are not to be grown in peaceful times ....  Warriors are really educated by the smell of powder, in the midst of  whizzing bullets and roaring cannonades .... Is He not developing in you  the qualities of the soldier by throwing you into the heat of  battle, and should you not use every application to come off  conqueror?"    Brokenness is a sign of God's love and activity in your life.  He breaks your self-reliance because He loves you. He knows that,  left on your own, you would yield to pride and selfishness. Any  discipline you experience in times of brokenness is God's way of preparing  you for future service.    * Keep in mind that God uses brokenness to deepen your  understanding in at      least three ways:   * You gain a new perspective of His mercy and provision   * You develop a more complete comprehension of yourself   * Your compassion and understanding for others' suffering grows   The Lord has one thing in mind for brokenness: spiritual  victory. You will soon discover that only Jesus Christ can take your  weakness and turn it into strength, hope, and honor. Will you trust Him  to change your life? [Life Principles SB By Charles Stanley re Jer.  15:19]   God is purifying and proving His people. He will refine them as  gold, until the dross is consumed and His image is reflected in them.  All have not that spirit of self-denial and that willingness to  endure hardness and to suffer for the truth's sake, which God requires.  Their wills are not subdued; they have not consecrated themselves  wholly to God, seeking no greater pleasure than to do His will.  Ministers and people lack spirituality and true godliness. Everything is  to be shaken that can be shaken. God's people will be brought into  most trying positions, and all must be settled, rooted, and grounded  in the truth, or their steps will surely slide. If God comforts and  nourishes the soul with His inspiring presence, they can endure, though  the way may be dark and thorny. For the darkness will soon pass  away, and the true light shines forever. {1T355}   God is purifying unto Himself a peculiar people, zealous of good  works. He is sitting as a refiner and purifier of silver. When the  dross and tin are removed, then His image will be perfectly reflected  in us. Then the prayer of Christ for His disciples will be answered  in us: "Sanctify them through Thy truth: Thy word is truth." When  the truth has a sanctifying influence upon our hearts and lives, we  can render to God acceptable service and can glorify Him upon the  earth, being partakers of the divine nature and having escaped the  corruption that is in the world through lust.  {2T317}   REFINER OF SILVER

Again

hands over my head
thinking what else could go wrong
would have stayed in bed
how can the day be so wrong?

never believed that things happen for a reason
but how this turn out remover all my doubts
so believe
that for you
i'll do it all over again
do it all over again
all i've been through
let me to you
so i do it all over again
for you

Sunday, March 20, 2011

keep my faith.....keep holding and hanging on

hello peeps......i finally have the patience to blog......LOL......i have time......but i think i just don't know where to start or what to blog sometimes......i wanted to......but i don't know how i think.....haha......so......
......wonder what's that whole sushi menu is about huh??haha......it just suddenly came to my mind one fine day when i was having lunch with my beloved CY people......you know......choosing a college is kinda like deciding what to order in a restaurant that you're not familiar with......especially when it's your first time to order......if that was your first time......surely you will automatically look/ask for the menu......with that 100++ of choices in that menu......you need to spend time to look and decide what you wanna have for that breakfast/lunch/dinner......and if the menu didn't have a sign mark chef's pick or whatever.....you will not know what's the best in that restaurant right??and sometimes......too many choices = too complicated......cause you don't know what to choose......it's the same thing when it comes to choosing a college/university......when there's too many choices......you need to take some time to think and look at the prospectus the college's/university's website......the surroundings......the faculties......the subjects they offer......and so so so so much more......but just before you choose your college/university......you'll need to think what subjects to take when you're there......and when you think of what to take when you're in college/university......you have to think of so so so so many thing else well......why you wanna take that subject??what makes you wanna take that subject and not the other one??

decisions,decisions,decisions......

when i was in kindergarten,i always wanna go to primary school....and when i'm in primary school... ...i just can't wait to go to secondary school mostly is because the teachers in primary school is just so fierce and sometimes they think that they are always right and you have to follow every word they say... ...and there's also the stress studying too......so,when i'm finally in secondary school......i just wanna break out to college and university......that's because i don't wanna face the stress,problems etc. and as you get older......you want......FREEDOM......cause you always think that you're old enough to take care of yourself......but the real truth is... ...you are NOT......and so... ...here i am......3 months it's going to and end......i'd spend too much time of basically doing nothing......sit in front of the computer till early morning cause i kept on telling myself i don't have school and i have nothing to do......actually,i have PLENTY OF THEM WAITING FOR ME......i'm just......LAZY

but......i seriously don't think i wasted any time......okay maybe some time......but not ALL the time......i don't know why and how......but the God of Gods showed me different things in life every day......like seriously every single day!!!!!!even some of the movies i watched......either the plot of the movie or the soundtracks of the movie......even the values behind the movie......i downloaded the songs which spoke to me the first time i listened to them......and as the days gone by......i don't know whether it's coincidence......hmm.....i think it's God......when i need courage to face the monster...... i have a song to tell me that i'm gonna do just fine......when i think my life is so so so so miserable and hard and complicated and i'll never gonna enjoy/love my life......i have a song saying that ' life is beautiful , but it's complicated , we don't need to understand , there are miracles...... '

i had the time of my life in Singapore with my buddies......He told and showed me something when i was there which opened my eyes......i kinda felt myself the first time when i'm actually mature enough to know what does growing up or even the word mature means when i'm watching the waves hushing the shore early in the morning and at night when i'm in Pangkor with my besties... ...when i was a little naive and innocent girl......i wanna grow up FAST......just a second......now that i can say i'm going to the next stage......i don't wanna grow up......i wish i was still in kindergarten......i wish i can start all over again......from the day God gave my parents ME......learn how to walk......how to talk......how to read......how to write......but i can't......and it's not gonna happen......i will be older day by day... ...i guess the main reason i don't wanna grow is because i don't wanna face troubles,problems,hardships,waves,thunder storm,rain......i want it to be sunny all the time,i want a peace life with no troubles and stuffs like that......

most of my friends already know what they wanna do,registered in that college this college and preparing to have a time of their lives......some hove even started it in January......me?i'm still waiting for God's answer each day in my life......waiting and praying......it's not that i don't know what i wanna take......there's just always this road block......i'll think that what if my future is not the way i always wanted it??what if i don't get what i want??i think i think too much most of the time......worry too much......i should have back the childlike faith......that God is always there even though we can't see or feel Him.....even now while i'm writing this.....He's watching and know what word i'm going type......Philippians 4:6



it's still kinda blur when i imagine my future right now......i know i want to chase after my dreams.....continue on the things that i'm so passionate about it's kinda like my life to me......make good use of the gifts that my God had gave me before i was even in my mum's womb......

i can't believe i'm even writing this here......BUT I WANT STRAIGHT A'S FOR MY ACTUAL SPM RESULTS......LIKE REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY BADLY......who don't want straight A's??everyone asked me how many A's i expect myself to get......i just say i don't know......cause i'm afraid that what if after telling them this......when i don't get it how would it feels......i've been praying for this for quite some times now......and 3 more days till the SPM result slip will be in my hands......i'd imagine myself holding that piece of paper.....shouting......THANK YOU JESUS cause i got what i want......God says:Whatever i promised you......I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU......BELIEVE.....AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE......


i don't know what's gonna happen on the 23rd.....but i will surely hold on to what God had said in the bible about this......keep my faith.....keep holding and hanging on
=)

Sunday, February 27, 2011

New

Dear God,
I want a fresh start,I want a new beginning,I want to do things I never did before in my life,I want to experience a different view from the window,I want to go to a place where nobody knows my name there,I want to see things that i had never seen before,I want experience life I never experienced before,I want to go to places that I can forget about the pass.
I want something new.
From : Joanne =)

Thursday, February 24, 2011

i'm ready

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH MY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OH GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IS THIS REAL GOD?????????
I'M READY FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU HAD PLANNED FOR ME......
'CAUSE YOU'RE TOO WISE TO MAKE ANY MISTAKES......
TOO KIND TO BE CRUEL
ANYTHING THAT CAN'T BRING GLORY TO YOU......THAT WILL NOT HAPPEN
THANK YOU
=)

Friday, February 18, 2011

I'M NOT DEAD!!!!!!

hahhahahahaahaha......IM NOT DEAD!!!!!!
just that i some how forgot that this blog of mine existed ahhahahahaha......
so yea...........I'M BACK!!!!!!
well......if i'm free i'll come here and do all the talking n writing n scolding
my parents asked me what do i do in front of the computer for so loooooooooooong......
hmm......guess i have to think of something more useful to do with the internet......
now that i have a ipod......i hope i use it wisely.....hahahah......instead of just for games n music
ahhaahhaha
hmm......a lot of things had happened these days.......like the end of 2010

2010:
~ there's YQ!!!!!!awesome experience......hope i can go YLDP this year......im surprised the relationship i bonded with those ppl......of cz i didnt really get to meet all 400++ ppl.....bt there a lot of ppl that i'm close with......hahahah......and the awesome part is......THEY'RE NOT FROM IPOH!!!!!!AHHAHAHAAHHA...........let's see......there's Sara frm JB......she make me smile/laugh everytime i see her name in FB for no reasons hahaha......Pebbles aka sheet lan ngor from Selangor..........hahhahahah....should really meet her in person.......Joella,Wen Dee and Benjamin frm Penang......Isabel frm kl aka Queensland hahhaah......Denise frm kl......im in the same devotional group with her......someone whose super friendly.....she's awesome....she's at Jeremiah School now......always ask me to go kl after she's off from JS hahhaha......then there's this CUTE GIRL!!!!!!frm JB too......CHEN SHI MIN!!!!!!she's super adorable......she's tiny n cute haahahaah......but she argues with me all the time saying she's not and i am.....which is =,= hahahahahha......then there's this Singapore girl name Constance!!!!!!she's oh so gentle hahahaha......would like to meet her next time when i go Sg......not just them......there's whole lot of them hahahah......miss the quiet devotional group =)
~i went for watch night service for the first time hahahahha......which reminds me of somebody that i asked him what's watch night service ahahhaha

2011:
~Jen,Wen,Xin,Aud,MUA and Aud's mum went to Sg on the 1st of the year ahhahaahah......hmm...lots of craziness happened hahaha......i will never forgot when we went universal studios for my 1st roller coaster ride after that it started to rain n i kept on saying 'this is not what i expected'....ahhahaaa......the silence of the apartment when i'm the first one to wake up......the view from the 10th floor......the long walk with the script's songs and GOD......HE opened my eyes to a lot of things during that walk......im happy i did that hahaha......even though i made Jen,Xin and Wen worried..........soooooorry.......the mrt i took frm Clementi to Beduk which took me 14 stations to arrive about 45 minutes and Jen,Xin and Wen took the mrt from Raffles which took them about 15 minutes and they still haven't arrived home......kept on texting and calling them and Aud n Stephen Chua......after waiting 15 minutes the landlord arrived BUT NOT THEM......worried like WTH.......kept on thinking where they are.....lost??don't know their way back??or what......being kidnapped??waited for an hour and a half......finally IT'S THEM..........u can't imagined how relieved i was......i guess it's fair hahaha........since they worried me during the day n i worried them during the night........hahahahahha......bottom line......it was a once in a lifetime opportunity and i thank God for everything =D


then......it's just normal life......now that i've got no more school to go......and nobody wants me to work for them.......but i'm amazed that God show me different things every single day......new things,new challenges/problems etc. etc. but I'M OKAY!!!!!! =D

every one kept on asking where i'm going.........what's my plans........what i planned to take......where i wanna go.......and i gave them the same old answer every time.........
.'I DON'T KNOW!!!!!!'
then they'll say 'Form 6??College??KL??
..................=,=............told you i don't know lork......
not that i don't know what i wanna do........it's just that there are a lot of things happening that just don't let my 'plans' work out......conclusion......i know ME more than my parents i shall say
you can't except me to change when you want me to change......
i'm not a COMPUTER......a computer will remove n delete when u ask them to...... they will erase it completely......
but i'm a HUMAN BEING!!!!!!when u ask me to change....some things just won't go away.............you can't expect me to do something that i don't like........some thing that i'm not 'connected'/'click' with........not to mention passion.......i know times are hard now.........it's not that i don't understand........i just can't accept the fact that you want me to do something that i don't like..........something that i know i'm gonna drown there if i go there............something that i'll not do well.........quit saying that i'm not being considerate here...........=/


i don't want a job that can make me a millionaire..............i just want something that makes me happy,satisfying and that i'm passionate about.........even if i will end up having nothing to eat.........as long as i still have what i believe in and what i'm passionate about......that's enough for me...
because i'm happy i'm satisfy with my life............
why do i need a trillion dollars if i don't have them??
maybe it's because you come from a very bad financial background and you're scare going back there again.........but for me, i just wanna make goood use of what God had given me as a gift and talents..it's that wrong??at the end of the day.....i don't wanna regret saying why i didnt go for what i believe n passionate about.........
without some things in life.......life just ain't complete.....some things are like my life to me.........without it........NO LIFE!!!!!!
i know that Jesus says in that bible that we must obey our parents like how we obey Him.....and in Colossians 3:20 says 'Children,always obey you parents,for this pleases the Lord'......but......

so many people around me....examples most of my friends.....some let go of something they once sooo passionate about.......something that they can't live without...........but they let go........because of some reasons.........
but i don't wanna let go.........i don't wanna let go of something that i can't survive with....'cause they're indelible......cannot be erased or removed....no matter what happens tomorrow........i thank You, God =D

*dreams are meant to be hard........you just have to keep going for it no matter what happens

**i promise i'll work hard and give y'all a life that both of y'all deserve and i promise to mean it